Just talk!

There are few things more stressful than grocery shopping. I know it; I am privileged to be able to cart a shopping trolley around throwing in eveything (ish) I’d like with reckless abandon. I work with a shopping list because I’m almost always hungry, not just when I go shopping and we all know that a hungry shopper is greedy shopper. The list also helps to quell my deep seated almost pathological fear of forgetting things.

So here’s how it plays out. Grab trolley. Preferably the big ones. Place heavy handbag in the spot where kids can sit. I need to get better at handbag packing because I believe I’m doing myself some long term shoulder damage. Story for another day. Burst through the doors with the gusto befitting such a momentous occasion. Decide which end of the store I’ll tackle first. It’s a quick mental calculation that always has the same result. Fresh veg and dairy last! Head to the very last row and then the craziness ensues. 

Two things to note here. Actually one confession and an apology. I’ve never used those wipes that they have at the door. I always marvel at the well adjusted people that do and I promise I’ll do better next time but wipes don’t yet fit into my supermarket reconnaissance equation. Secondly there are probably hundreds of people I have maimed with my supermarket trolley driving skills. If only it was a simply nudge to the backside, that would be excusable. I’ve ruptured strangers’ Achilles’ tendons, fractured ankles and almost started wars with my inability to navigate in those spaces with what is almost always the trolley everyone else had the sense to leave behind. I’m sorry to those I’ve left in my wake. It’s probably a subconscious need to injure others because of the injuries I’m causing myself daily with my heavy handbags. 

So it begins. List in one hand. Pen in the other and we go! I would really love a calculator too. But shortage of hands. Do people still use calculatorsJ? At this point I would ordinarily pop in headphones and listen to some Hugh Masekela because everything is better with Bra Hugh. But a good friend happened to my earphones and my shopping experience has never been the same. While we’re on the subject, take a moment to listen to a song called Until When on the Hope (Live) Album. Effortless mastery. 

So I go round and round. Talking to myself. Mostly asking prices if they are kidding me and such. And then it hit me. We don’t talk to each other in the supermarket. We look at each other, give each way. Wait for each other to pick stuff because that’s how it works. If we meet each other in the aisle we almost always want the same thing. So I do that awkward looking intently at dog food (I don’t have a dog) so you can have your turn to get what I’m actually after. But saying please pass me some cooking oil would mean we actually have to talk. We do this dance over and over it’s become an art. 

But yesterday was different. It was in the tea and coffee aisle. She was tall, in what I can only describe as a handsome coat. You know those coats that you hope to one day own. Her hair was in locs. A fellow loc sister with glasses. She was basically me but smiling and with a beautiful coat and clearly a happier disposition because she SPOKE! To me. I looked around as you do to make sure you don’t respond to someone not actually referring to you and what could be more embarrassing? Actually loads more things are embarrassing but you have to admit that’s pretty high on the list. 

So she said she was curious. Wondered if I always use a list to shop. Asked how I compile the list and if I always follow what it says. She laughed and explained that she’s more of a ‘I’ll remember what I need when I get to the shop’ type. She said she couldn’t believe she’d come to the supermarket on a Friday evening again because it’s so busy. She fascinated me. And I don’t know what I said back because I was so fascinated. And off she went. And then I played out all the clever things I should have said to her. I DO THAT ALL THE TIME. I simply don’t have the presence of mind that other people do. I have the best conversations with myself. In my mind every conversation is that Oprah and Eckhart Tolle conversation from 1997 when The Power of Now was released. So clever and deep. No I haven’t read The Power of Now. Anyway. 

She was a breath of fresh air and I thought we should talk more in the supermarket.  So, I tried. Is this the price of cooking oil now I said to what I now realise was probably a 12 year old girl. She grinned and grimmaced at the same time. Next one was about how stock cubes are now a nightmare to find to an older man who was only looking my way to park his trolley in front of me. Where was lovely loc lady when I needed her? I resolved to try this again next time. Off to the tills I went. Can we just talk about how many plastic bags we use? We need to stop. Keep shopping bags in your car or a little one in your (already heavy) handbag.

The most amazing thing happened at the till. And it didn’t involve me keeping my bill within budget. I met another woman. Who spoke to me. About her kids and where they are in their lives. She was with her son who plays waterpolo. Good kid, not embarrassed by his chatty Mum. And then the most amazing thing happened. Chatty Mum asked her son and his friend to help me pack my shopping and they did. Happily. I couldn’t believe it. They packed everything into plastic bags. I forgot my reusables sue me. They even offered to take me to the car. I drew the line there because child labour. There are good people out there man. Just talk. 

Then to top off what had been an interesting shop I bumped into an old friend. I last saw him 12 years ago. And there he was at the supermarket door. Let’s just keep it real. I look nothing like I did 12 years ago. Be still my weeping heart. And neither does he thankfully! But for a moment I toyed with the idea of not going to say hi because who wants to reintroduce themselves to a person who may not recognise the 2018 version of Penny. But I’d just learnt the lesson. Just talk. I went up to him and said  hi! People. This. Is. Epic. I don’t do that. But I did it yesterday and it was awesome. We hugged. I think a hug for every year we haven’t seen each other. It was extra but I was just relieved he recognised me. And we chatted much to the annoyance of the people I’d blocked with my trolleys. Yes we start off with one and end up with several. Trolleys that is. 

Several selfies later, quick family catch up and that was that! The best grocery shopping experience I’ve had in a while. 

Just talk.