She was too good to me


It feels like ages since I last wrote. And you know the longer you stay away the harder it is to get back. Some interesting things have happened since I've been away. And I'll share a few.

I lost my phone. The second mobile phone I have ever lost. At this point I must explain that I am not the ‘losing stuff’ type. I am obsessive about knowing where everything is. I break into a sweat and have palpitations when I cannot find last week’s newspaper. Because of this, losing my phone was a major life event. The first phone I lost was on a First Great Western train from Paddington to Reading. I happily got off the train and my mobile stayed; probably in the grubby hands of some sneaky, Dick Dastardly lookalike! It took some time but I recovered. I spent some meaningless years with some sad excuses for mobile phones until I got my now lost companion. I did everything on this phone. I blogged, banked, emailed, found recipes, listened to music, shopped, read the bible, worked out foreign exchange transactions, took pictures, used it to exercise. And then like a Kim Kardashian marriage...it was gone! In two words...EMOTIONAL TURMOIL. I cried like a baby. I was as grumpy as a granny with bunions. I secretly still am. But I realised that I will live without it. I really had to evaluate my relationship with ‘stuff’ and learnt that we sometimes form unhealthy relationships with things and it takes our biggest fears coming true to realise we are actually ok without them. Don’t get it twisted, I still imagine my joy on the day I finally find it lodged between the sofa cushions that I fluff daily pretending I’m tidying when I really looking for my old faithful mobile.

Having lost my phone means I now have nobody’s contact details. There are a few numbers I know and a whole bunch I don’t. So the last few weeks have been filled with awkward texts. You know the texts I mean. The ones where you want to sound polite while telling the other person you actually have no idea who they are. To all those who have got those...sorry! Those awkward texts have taught me a few things. First, that some of my dearest friends are people who I don’t speak to everyday. But when I do it’s just right (Lilian). Next, that I am brilliant actor! Some of you have had no idea that I was fluffing my way through conversations, hoping for hints to make a positive ID! I did have another profound learning moment but I have lost it now! That’s another thing; losing something makes you realise that losing other things isn't so bad after all.

Another thing that happened in the last week is that I stayed home alone in our apartment for the very first time. I've always professed to love my own company, waxed lyrical about how amazing it is to have alone time. I learnt this last weekend that I find myself quite boring! Sure I could do ALL the things I wanted to do, rest and burp without having to say ‘pardon me’! BUT on the balance of it all, I didn't find myself very inspiring company at all. The lesson...me-time in moderation, please! I also learnt that the house will not fall apart if I don't tidy it straight away. I lounged on a couch where the cushions weren't totally symmetrical (probably because I turned them over looking for said mobile) and I didn’t die. Who'd have thunk it?!

Ok one more thing! I have spent the last few weeks with my hair out. That means not in braids and no real defined hairstyle. Granted I have resembled a hobo on some occasions and winced through the judgemental stares of those in the know (the fashion fascists!). BUT it has been freeing. I have befriended the headscarf and embraced the effortlessness (real word!) of scrunching my hair up and walking out of the house with the confidence befitting a fashion model. I'm looking at a reflection of myself in a window pane right now and it’s hilarious. But I’m happy and healthy who cares about my hair! Oh gosh......maybe the phone is in my hair. Hold on...one sec...no. False alarm!

Happy to be back, really! I was holding a secret protest actually. No blogging until I get my mobile back. But I love it too much so here I am.

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