Thinking out loud

What do you call someone you grew up with? The person who was born a week before you. The one you shared baby food with and every bath for the first five years of your life. When I was ill so was he. When he got a new cardigan, so did I (often the exact same cardigan!). We knew each other well. He knew that stuff made me cry, he'd sit with me till the sobs died out. I knew he had a naughty side, I never let them be too hard on him. He let me have the last bite of everything and I listened to his crazy dreams!  What would you call that person??! Brother? Friend? A gift for a timid child who really needed a friend at home because she was too afraid to make friends anywhere else.  It's your birthday today. I'm thinking of you. I miss our lives before they got complicated. Hope something made you smile at least.  Happy Birthday 

What better way to celebrate the arrival of Baby Cambridge?? Bangers and Mash methinks. 

I spent the whole of yesterday on the serious business of royal baby watch. Clad in my union jack apron (from the royal wedding!). I say from; I wasn't actually there. That's a whole other blog about how I foolishly bought into the commercialisation of a couple's marriage. They don't know me and yet I allowed a shop to take my hard-earned money in order that I would feel as though I was part of the wedding. Hilarious right? But I'd do it again. Would I buy an apron or put up bunting up to celebrate the marriage of Persuade and Headlight...probably not. And that's a crying shame.  Anyway I digress. So the royal baby  was all my favourite radio stations talked about. From the serious 'this marks a pivotal point where one must pause and seriously consider whether one is royalist or republican' REALLY?! To the less uptight 'wonder whether they'd ever be free to name the baby something like Poppy'. Now that's more like it!  And then the little...

There is no one in the athletics world I love more than Tyson Gay. The news today that he and Asafa Powell among others had failed a drug test, quite simply broke my heart.  Could his desperate need for a come-back and a possible head to head with Usain Bolt driven him to want to win at all costs? Was his current resurgence real? Too good to be true.   Watching him win races again in his cool, calm and collected way was wonderful. He was right where I thought he should be and now this. I wish he'd say more. Clarify things. I know this sounds naive but he just doesn't strike me as the type to cheat and perhaps the corruption and commercialisation of sport has turned good sportspeople into desperate fame hungry pawns. It's now become a case of who will fall next, what's the next scandal? But blame to those it is due. You cheat, you're out.  Just heartbroken. 

I certainly cannot! A sign of maturity is the ability to shut your mouth and curbing the need to weigh in on things that don't really concern you. I am not mature just yet. I am constantly reminding myself to shut my mouth, it's often too late. Me and my big mouth. You don't realise how many times I wish I could have a do-over after I've blurted out something that should have never been said. The height of cringe-worthiness! I am learning everyday. 

If I had to spend another minute hearing about Miami Heat, Dwayne Wade and Lebron James...I would have probably been taken in for arson (picture a smouldering tv!) or homicide (picture what you will!).  So basketball is over, couldn't help but roll my eyes at the silly ESPN advert suggesting other sports my poor hubbz can fill the emptiness with! PUKE! Emptiness? Really? On to the next one! 

I am tired. Utterly finished. I got to the end of my tether and fell off. My limbs are heavy and my mind is crowded. I'm irritable and edgy. You think the world would have mercy on me and throw me a life line...no such luck. Three work assignments due yesterday and a messy house. A jumbled brain and heavy eyelids. Sadly only 40 minutes till the day ends. Pause. I need to catch up. Long deep breaths should help they say. No. It's making me even sleepier. What I want is a little slumber, a little sleep, a little folding of the arms. All I have, a little shudder, a bigger sigh and a little all-nighter. Sleep ye lucky souls, no rest for the blessed. 

What’s your line? The line that just cannot be crossed. The one button that cannot be pushed. The thing that drives you so mad you can barely breathe. Mine is being called a liar. Few things get me as riled up. I have for the last few minutes, been trying to calm my nerves and regulate my breathing because someone has just accused me of being a liar. No opportunity to defend myself and no real consideration of what calling someone a liar implies. Liars are unreliable, cannot be trusted and have no integrity. That is definitely not me. Now that the line has been crossed I have been quietly trying to figure out how best to deal with it. I tried to be quiet but felt as though I would spontaneously combust. I complained to everyone but the culprit and felt like a fraud that draws a line in the sand but does nothing when it is crossed. I thought blogging would help, it hasn’t! The stifled hyperventilation has formed into a big lump in my throat and my eyes are stinging from tears. Wish I ...

I have missed my darling blog. MISSSSSSSSSSSED it! Thanks to all of you who have reminded me how long its been since I posted anything. I have been busy doing all kinds of work and when I finally got a bit of a lull my internet went on the blink. Let me explain this to my dear friends living outside Zimbabwe, where internet going on the blink is simply a matter of calling a call centre and being politely informed by a lovely lady in Hyderabad that it will be ok soon. Here when internet goes on the blink...it dies. Takes with it any evidence that it ever existed  AND all power to you if you can get through to a call centre! I am back though and crossing my fingers that this joy will last longer than a day. So it's winter time here. When we came last year winter was lovely. It was a welcome respite from the heat of summer and we didn't know what the fuss was about. Hubbz even had a bunch of people beseeching him not to wear shorts to work because it was disconcerting! ...

Are you like me? When the morning doesn't quite start the right way, it messes up the rest of the day and possibly the week! I am having one of those Mondays today. Had a headache when I woke up. Didn't have the energy to get the house looking neat and liveable before I left. I left home in a rush and therefore everything I have on looks accidental. I am hungry and tired! It's going to be a long week. I have a to do list as long as the Magna Carta and not an ounce of motivation to get going. Usually the stash of jelly sweets in my bag helps to get me going, but today I am stashless. What to do?  Just had a 10minute pause to consider a plan of action...nothing. There's only one solution, NAPTIME! Have a great Monday

Remember that David Haye fight? You know the one against Vladimir Klitschko in 2011 it might have been. The World Heavyweight Unification Title Clash (mouthful!) that David promised would silence the dissenters once and for all. Well he lost that fight and gave the most unlikely reason for it. He had broken his baby toe. Hubbz and I from then on referred to him as Baby Toe Haye . I thought it was hilarious until on Monday I rammed the baby toe on my left foot into the wooden leg attachment of the ottoman in  my living room. I like to think of myself as having quite a high pain threshold. But in that instant I felt as though my baby toe was dislodged from my foot with only a little sinew holding it together. IT WAS HORRIBLE. So much so that I couldn't scream but used all the energy I could muster so sit down, wipe the sweat from my brow and shed a few silent tears. It hurts to this day. It hurts to drive, hurts to have shoes on, hurts to walk, hurts to type this blog (I exxag a lit...

This year is a milestone birthday for me and I have to admit that I have been feeling a little bit like I am wasting time. My life's time line didn't quite take the course that I wished it would and I constantly feel the pressure to explain away my lack of achievement. When I am in a happier and more sober minded mood, I remind myself of my wonderful marriage, to a fairytale type guy! BUT that's not something I've done, but rather something that's happened to me. OK so I have two degrees and people who call me their friend. I write for magazines. I am a very good aunt and reasonably reliable! The point I am trying to make is that I have made an occupation of feeling sorry for myself and wishing I could do or be more. I have the audacity to belittle the goodness that has come  my way and the things that I have achieved.  I am currently on a work assignment that literally fell in my lap with no effort of my own. Yet another wonderful thing and yet I am here sitting ...

It is with great sadness that I learnt  today of the death of Baroness Thatcher, former British Prime Minister. Controversial, polarising and memorable. Her politics aside, I admired her. She knew what she believed and stood for it regardless of the opposition. What a formidable person...

It feels like ages since I last wrote. And you know the longer you stay away the harder it is to get back. Some interesting things have happened since I've been away. And I'll share a few. I lost my phone. The second mobile phone I have ever lost. At this point I must explain that I am not the ‘losing stuff’ type. I am obsessive about knowing where everything is. I break into a sweat and have palpitations when I cannot find last week’s newspaper. Because of this, losing my phone was a major life event. The first phone I lost was on a First Great Western train from Paddington to Reading. I happily got off the train and my mobile stayed; probably in the grubby hands of some sneaky, Dick Dastardly lookalike! It took some time but I recovered. I spent some meaningless years with some sad excuses for mobile phones until I got my now lost companion. I did everything on this phone. I blogged, banked, emailed, found recipes, listened to music, shopped, read the bible, ...

I love world events. I really do. I'm giddy at the sight of them. The ones where I know I'm joined by billions in my fascination. The appointment of the new pope is one such event. I liken it to the Olympic opening ceremony or US election night. Hope that's not an offensive comparison. Argentinians must be feeling awfully proud. I'm proud too. I love Padre Jorge's (now Pope Francis) back story. The Archbishop of Buenos Aires, who is so laid back he chooses to take the bus. He came second to Ratzinger in 2005. What luck! The winner resigns and then you get your turn. The moral of the story; coming second isn't the end of the world. Keep taking the bus and one day you'll get the job of your dreams!

This post is for my two sisters, my friends Lyn and Shau and Hubbz! You must read it too! LOL As I read the blog from Chantelle yesterday, entitled  Gosh darn, let's do away with all the busy already. OK??  I had these four beautiful women  and gorgeous dude on my mind. They have mastered the art of being busy. So have I sadly! For goodness sake, there are loads of important things we have to do but we all need to learn to take a chill pill and learn to enjoy doing nothing again! THAT IS ALL!

15.458 whole days! I'm patient, but this?

Have you ever told a lie? Said out loud something you knew to be untrue. Hoping that you can create for yourself a reality less painful than the one the truth would create. I have, sadly more times than most. At the moment those words leave your lips, you begin a journey with yourself, one where you’ll never know what really living is like. Everything, every single thing that happens from that moment on, no matter how pleasurable or meaningful, will only be but a shadow. Not real. The thing about a lie is that it works so very hard to become reality so much so that even you buy into it. A simple no when it really was a yes. A little self righteous anger, a tear perhaps and then you ignite that addictive power that comes with knowing that life’s events have been ultimately altered by your very words. I have been asking myself today about what my life could be if I wasn't such a coward. If I didn't exalt my ego so much as to create reality as opposed to living it, wh...

Another blog that I love love love is FATMUMSLIM by Chantelle, who also lives in Australia. I tell you there must be something in the water in Australia!  Like me she blogs about life BUT in a soooo much more accomplished and effortless way! One of the things Chantelle does on her blog is this thing called the  Photo A Day Challenge . Every month she comes up with a photo idea for everyday of the month. Her readers are encouraged to take a picture that matches whatever is suggested for that day. As October is my favourite month of the year, I took on the October photo a day challenge! That's 2012 by the way, let's just say this post is very late. The Photo a Day Challenge was a real ........challenge! NOT EASY, but loads of fun! I must confess now that I missed some days and even more embarrassing, I could only find a couple of the photos way past the suggested day! The experience was amazing and here are my pictures OCTOBER 6 ( I'm thankful for ...Hubz and Mum) ...

One of the things that I have been doing since becoming a blogger is reading and following some amazing blogs. One of my favorites is one called BIGWORDS. Its written and published by  Bianca Wordley who is based in Adelaide Australia. She is an accomplished writer who has contributed to some of the world's most popular magazines. She's an experienced journalist and mum. I want to be her when I grow up!  Anyway, a month ago she wrote the most amazing blog post about stereotypes   bigwords: The Stereotype :   and she really took the words out of my mouth.  Hope you like it as much as I did. What do you think about stereotypes? Particularly in advertising and how gender roles are portrayed. xx

Ain't that the truth. Besides eating, sleeping, working, paying bills and all that usual stuff; am I of any use? Am I useful, helpful or making a difference? It just hit me that I need to justify the time and space I've been given on earth and be of some use. Not just to the people for whom it comes naturally to me. Not just my nephews and nieces or my husband or mum, but those people who need someone to remember them. Goodness knows I am where I am because someone remembered me. Because at every point in my life someone has chosen to be of use to me. Like all those who remembered my mum, brothers, sisters and me after my dad died. The ones who just knew that we would need some food or whatever it was. You were of some use to me. Whoever it was who approved my part bursary at the School of Advanced Study. You impacted my life immensely and you don't even know it. You were some use to me. You who carried me up the stairs and out of the library when I'd fallen ...

Is it just me or have the Mosquitos suddenly returned from their long holiday. That holiday where they spent hours sharing their stories of how skilfully they had ensured we wouldn't sleep easy. The same holiday where the little critters boasted about mammoth mosquito bites. Not pleased! Not just because I'm jealous (that I haven't been on holiday for a while!) but because I now spend precious sleep hours slapping myself in the face and trying to sound proof my ears with the pillows. Why do we actually need Mosquitos? What do they contribute to our existence? Why didn't Noah forget to carry a pair of them when he went into the ark?? Those are all going on my 'questions for God list'! Welcome back mosies, not happy to have you back BUT I can do nothing about you.

No one on earth has green fingers like my mummy. Ok maybe Alan Titchmarsh. But he doesn't count because he probably went to school for his gardening and has loads of little minions running around doing stuff for him! I digress! Anyway, my eldest sister and I inherited my mum's love for all things gardening. Living in our apartment in London was hilarious. Our poor tiny kitchen window sills always had some herbs struggling away. I even had a sweet potato project that died a sad death. Then we moved back home where there's loads of space and I'm sad to say I didn't grow a thing. It's like you think you want something and then when you get it you realise you can't be bothered! And almost everyone has a gardener here and anytime you venture out they look at you like errrr can I help you??! I know, excuses. Anyway we've now moved into our own place (no garden, just a balcony) and I have some hanging baskets that my mum made up for me. It's just stra...

Only my mum's chickens have this much chutzpah Good day y'all xx

(Adapted from yet another letter I wrote to my niece!) The new year comes with loads of challenges, new things we want to achieve. I'm taking my own advice. 1) please do not fall into the trap of being complacent and forget the enormity of the task before you. After going through the trauma of getting poor results, it's oddly easy to forget that initial disappointment and fall back into the same old way of doing things. Keep the momentum going and keep the energy up and stay focused. 2) there is no time to feel sorry for yourself. Spending time imagining what life could have been is a total waste. We all make mistakes, we all have made a blunder once in a while. Don't waste time, focus on the things you can change. 3) dont let life fool you! There's lots of time later to do all the fun things that life has to offer. When you have something important needing your attention it just seems like everything else is fun and exciting. It's a total lie! Parties, tv, ...

I sent this letter to my niece on the day she left for university. Ever read something you wrote to someone and days later felt like you needed the advice yourself? Here it is... Do not be fooled into thinking that by leaving home you are now mature. Maturity is about incorporating all you have learnt from your parents, greater family and church into your daily life and decision making. It is immature to rebel against such obvious wisdom in a bid to be 'yourself'. Rebelling against truth is immature, standing on the truth in difficult circumstances is true maturity. Stay in God's word and do not be afraid to stay there alone when worldly wisdom behaves otherwise. There is shame in following crowds blindly knowing full well what the right way is. Do not strive to get the approval of people. Approval is fleeting. One day you're in and the next you're out. Live a life that is committed and pleasing to God, He made you and therefore knows your worth. Guard your ...